How I Feel About Stupid-Ass Motherfuckers

I just want to talk a little bit about guys that don't know how to treat women. I have a friend going through this shit right now and it just really pisses me the fuck off. I find it hard to comprehend how a guy with a gorgeous, loving, godly girlfriend can't seem to figure out that the relationship is not all about him. By definition, a relationship involves two or more people, and some guys always forget about the other half of their reltionaship. This indicates to me that they don't seem to be intrested in a relationship at all. At that point, its all about them. And then when the shit's finally over - when the relationship is ended by one or the other - they realize, "Oh shit! I had something really good and now I fucked up." The problem is, a lot of the time, they still are focused on themselves. Its like, "Oh shit, I had something good and now I don't have anything at all. Poor me." The focus is still not on their "once-partner". The focus is on what they had and what they lost. It's still all about them. These guys are insecure and very dependent mother-fuckers that miss thier mommy's and need someone ( i.e. a really awesome woman) to wipe their asses for them. These types of girls, however, don't necessariy need to be ass-wiping these lazy mother-fuckers. They should be kicking them in their little useless nuts. But these girls are just mature enough to know that they need to take care of the other half of the relationship (i.e. the guy) and that's awesome. That's what a relationship requires, but the shit has to be two-sided. You can't have a girl constantly taking care of herself and her dumbass boyfriend. That shit just pisses me the fuck off, and I think guys like that need to be knocked upside their head with a shovel or some other blunt intrusment repeatedly until they realize what a dumbass motherfucker they are and start wiping their own ass. Someday I'll tell you guys how I really feel about this shit.

Celebrity Rant Part Two: Celebrities Famous for Really Weird Reasons

Now moving from rappers to celebrities-famous-for-really-weird-reasons. Let us take a look at a classic example: Paris Hilton. Why is Paris Hilton famous? Let's see. She's beautiful.... she's rich.... umm.... hold on...beautiful...rich...shit...I know there was something else... oh yea!! SHE GOT FUCKED ON CAMERA. That's right, I knew it was something bizarre. So... here's a woman so rich her Daddy wrapped her presents in hundred dollar bills as a child and she is famous for no apparent reason: I mean, she models and sells shit, but why does that make her famous? She didn't make any of it. Her family's fucking wealthy and she's on the cover of every magazine every week involved in something.
So one day, Paris wakes up next to incredibly well-endowed boy-friend and says, "Hmm... I'm fucking famous. But even I'm smart enough to realize that there is no real reason for me to be so famous - I mean, shit I sure as hell can't act and my only catch phrase is, 'That's hot.' Someday people are going to realize that I shouldn't be on the cover of these stupid magazines every week and I'm going to be as unimportant as every other billionaires' grand-daughter. What to do... what to do..."
At this point, her incredibly well-endowed boy-friend, who has already lit up his bong and is fast on his way to Neverland, has a briliant idea. "Let's fuck," he says and then busts up laughing because honestly, the word fuck is really hilarious when your high off your ass.
Paris realizes that her idiot boyfriend's remedy for his raging boner has provided her with a way to save her career. "Brilliant! What a clever and well-composed suggestion for the salvation of my career!" she exclaims. At least, that's what she would have said if she had graduated high-school. Actually, all she said was, "That's hot." The following video-taped festival of love, known as One Night in Paris proved to be the solution for Paris Hilton's dying career, thus making her the most famous of the Celebrities Famous for Really Weird Reasons.
I think the second most famous celebrity for areally weird reasons is Jessica Simpson. Think about it: What is she best known for? Being an idiot. That's right. Jessica Simpson, gorgeous and decently intelligent in real life, I'm sure, is famous because on her well-loved show The Newlyweds she is a complete jackass. If you were to take all the idiots in the world and have them take any kind of test and have Anna Nicole Smith set the grading curve and then have all the people who scored below a 50% on that scale get together and do their best at creating a brain, I guarantee you that that brain would be smarter than Jessica Simpson is on her show. Seriously. I say "than Jessica Simpson is on her show", because that is all it really is. She's not that stupid, fuckers, she's an actor. Its not reality, because no one is that stupid in reality. She is adorably stupid and people love her for it. And I love the fact that only in America can you be famous for being a complete idiot.

So....You Don't Like the Blog

"Your blog is evil...blah, blah... if you even are Christian, you are certainly one of the worse Christians in the world...blah blah. Repent in sackloth and ashes for your wicked language and your rotten attitude." My first email of this nature made me laugh. I couldn't believe it. This woman, an associate and friend of my older brothers, had accidentally "stumbeled" across my blog and decided that it was her Christian duty to reveal to me the error of my ways, citing my disgusting utilization of the English language and "attitude" as my most pressing and destructive evil, accusing me of living two different lives: one before my teachers and church and family and another one on the internet, "zipping up my flesh suit and going for a ride"(???). My response was to inform her that she did not know what she was talking about. I was not hiding anything from anyone: my friends, most of my family, and my and teachers know who I am and what I am like. (I don't even know my current pastor.) Everyone, I pointed out, knows me except her. This would indicate that perhaps she was involved in an affair about which she knew nothing with someone she did not know. Unfortunately, she failed to grasp this in my first email and proceeded, not only to keep writing me, but to spread the news to everyone else in this little community. I was approached by an old friend of mine who expressed his concern with my actions, relating his own experiences with that "languages" consequences. I must say, I appreciated - if not his arguments - his conern and respect for me that encouraged me to reconsider my course of action. And then he revisited my site. Revisited. Remember, this is after he came to me and informed me that he dissaproved of what I was doing and what my blog contained, admitting that if I failed to find something problematic or innately wrong with my language, I should not change it!!! So my question is, "Why the heck would he revisit a site that he believed was innately wrong and comment on it, "For what its worth, I'm very dissapointed." With what? With my blog? Yes, he already told me that - and he also told me that he didn't want me to change it if I failed to see something wrong with it. Was it with the fact that I changed the blog's address? Yes, I did because I was disgusted with the fact that it was getting passed around like a hot potato. It amazes me that certain persons would come across my blog, accuse me of being a rebellious or very deceived individual, and then tell others how to find this evil blog and that they should read it. Its even more amazing when you remember that these people are not even part of my life anymore. I never see them or talk to them and they have the audacity to try to fix my life by giving me all their opinons. In truth, that's all they are. They have nothing concrete to back their statments, and that makes them all opinions. For any of you who still haven't got enough of this evil blog and are still checking it with morbid fascination to see what evil I'll create next, Thank you, I appreciate the concern, but honestly, enough is enough. Fuck off.