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So here's about the funniest thing I've ever heard. Anyone offended by even humorous references to ducks gizzing should not go to this site but instead should go copulate vigiorously with a sharp instrument. Donald Duck does Disney porn - Prank calls, pranks and funny sound clips - Gag Report

That One Guy That Got Ass-Raped

So, you're a random Scottish peasant.... you're a desperate American colonial.... you're a peace-loving, evil-hating elf..... What do you all have in common? Hmm... what was it...? Oh yea, that's it. YOU ALL GET ASS-FUCKED. Now, I know that's an intresting way to start my new article, but a question popped into my head while I was watching The Musketeer - a lame movie whose only stab at signifigance is its bizaare but fantastic action stunts. The question is this: what about all the guys that get ass-fucked? Yes, that's what I said. What about those guys? They are the guys in any film who took all the shit life had to throw at them (i.e. the tyrannical rule of the English {see Braveheart} ) the guys that went through all the necessary trials and tribulations to make it to the last scene, the guys that heard all the tear-jerking, adrenaline-pumping, chubby-producing inspiring speeches about this "not being that day" and "they'll never take our FREEDOM!!!" When those guys get down to the last charge, the last victorious stretch, the final gallop to glory - I mean, when they actually face those unbelieveable odds that those insipiring speeches made them believe did not exist - they get ass-fucked (i.e. shot or blown to shit). I mean, is that discouraging or what? Here we have the poor peasant/colonial/elf-from-Lord-of-the-Rings thinking that what his idiot leader says is true and that he actually will escape this shitmess he's in when instead, admist echoes of inspirational words and glorious music, he get his horse/legs blown out from under him and he goes down in a pile of screams, pain, and extreme dislike for any Hollywood heroes. Seriously, wouldn't that suck ass? I mean, one second your charging to victory with all the rest of the heroes and the next second your getting blown off your horse in a fountain of slow-motion blood and... your dead... and the story follows everyone else - not you - because your dead and dead people really aren't that intresting. So, pretty much that's it: it sucks to be the guy that dies. Cuz that's all he does: die. The End.