New Drunk

So I met a new type of drunk person that so impacted me I had to create a whole new category for just her. This type is the Twenty-eight Year Old that Wants my Nuts drunk. As can be derived from the title, this type of drunk is a twenty eight yearold woman. And she wants my nuts. I have three glaring problems with this. 1) I don't have sex with random women. 2) I don't have sex with random, drunk women. 3) I don't have sex with random, drunk ugly- ass mothers. Yes, this particularly nasty specimen of the female creature is 28 and looks like she's 38 - too much crack will do that to you. Plus, she has kids? Seriously, I'm nineteen. What was even more disturbing is that she told me she had never been refused before. Yea? And am I supposed to want to put my valuables in that box? I'm thinking: no-o-o-o-o-oooooo..... Get your hands off my dick and go get your kids. I think they're in the street chasing cars. Crazy bitch.